IC Inbox/ DIO's Diary

[dioception]

[It is easy enough to send a private message to DIO, but anything written here would be visible only to recipients and to those who hold his book in their hands.]
{I'll pretty this post up more in the future}

Comments

[totallysane]

I would.

I would love to call it done and go back to business as usual. It'd be the best possible outcome for me.

But it was only an offer.

[dioception]

For you.

What about for ME? I can't trust you anymore. I can't trust anyone. At any moment, you could find someone you like more than me and find out I hurt them in the past and then go and kill me again without any warning.

You hurt me, and maybe I deserved it. But that means we'll never go back to business as usual. We can't. I could never feel comfortable around you again.

[totallysane]

I understand.

I accepted that as a possibility when I decided to do it. It wasn't an easy to choice to make. You were one of my longest-running partners here. But he was the person I cared most about in the world for most of my life.

I told you, if you wanted to, you could do anything you like to me to make yourself feel safe. Restrain me or whatever.

Or you can stay away. I'm not going to attack you out of nowhere. It's done.

[dioception]

I had thought you were my friend.

Now all I have is Jonathan, and he doesn't even

he just

[He pities him. It feels nice in the moment, but then it dissipates, and is made sour when Dio thinks about it later.]

Just leave me alone. [Maybe he'd be willing to go see him when he was starving and unable to ask Jonathan for fear of the effect that blood will have on him, but for right now, he didn't want anything to do with Mikado.]

[totallysane]

I know. I was. I wanted to be, at least.

But now you feel just like the rest of us. Scared. Vulnerable.

That's how the people you hurt feel, the ones who aren't like me and don't ask for it.

And that's how I felt, when I went to touch someone I loved and he was skittish and it took me that long to find out why.

Welcome to the world the rest of us have always lived in, Dio.

[dioception]

[He doesn't like it. And worse, he doesn't have an argument against it. He was afraid. Anyone could kill him, if Mikado could. The only thing that allowed him to trust others was the fact that he felt he could easily defeat them. Now what?]

I said leave me alone.

[totallysane]

Right. Okay.

Don't disappear, though.

[dioception]

[If only Mikado could hear his disgusted grunt.]I couldn't if I wanted to.

[totallysane]

Good.

Learn to live down here with the rest of us.

I'll be around if you change your mind.