MoM IC Inbox

[dioception]

"I, DIO, do not have the time or care to answer. Leave your message and leave me be."

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WHATS UP

[shadowglitter]

[ pucci turns on the camera right as odin picks up a fucking lamp and throws it onto the ground, falling on his knees and raising his arms to the heavens. ]

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT THE INEVITABLE TOTALITY OF DEATH, NOR IS IT ABOUT OUR CONSTANT FORWARD MARCH TOWARDS IT! Life is passion. Love! The relationships we find in the chaotic maelstrom of fate's wings! In an ideal world, this deserted island could become a quiet utopia, a paradise, one that can be struck with a steady and comfortable life based on simple farming and forraging! If that were the case - if I, the desperate heterosexual, managed to find reliable albeit occasionally scarce supplies in my Garden of Eden - if I managed to build a life for myself in this isolated world of sun and sand, starting a family would be a natural progression of things! I wouldn't be sentencing that poor child to death! I'd be condemning it, if anything, to the same quiet and calm life I'd have grown accustomed to with my beautiful mute fish-wife! THAT'S HARDLY A SIN. Option A entirely cuts that potential from me! I would give up everything that makes humanity humanity all for some depressing, pessimistic idea that I would never be able to find happiness or health or joy in the world I'd tragically washed ashore of!

[ odin falls to the ground, back to the camera, curled up in a ball. he's sobbing. ]

Why? Why would you do that to yourself? Why burden yourself with this pessimistic, horrid idea that humanity can't thrive in harsh conditions? Why... does your friend not love? Pucci? Answer me, Pucci. Answer me...

Dio just met him and he hates him

[dioception]

What makes you think that reproduction is the way to happiness?

I have doubts that your mute fish wife would be capable of being such. Really, with the top half as a fish, she would have no lungs and would thus need to spend all of her time in the water, where she'd most certainly be slaughtered because frankly she's an abomination that has no right existing in this world and the one glassy eye I can see already begs for death.

Option A might not allow you to have children with your less mute fish wife, but it would mean that she could occasionally venture onto land with you and build your quiet utopia while providing you with fish from the ocean. You could enjoy the fruit of her labor rather than the fruit of her loins, all while having a companion that you could pose such inane questions to and actually get intelligible answers from.

Besides which, a lifetime of possible blowjobs is worth much more than having a child.

Now Pucci, tell him to stop tormenting you or I'm going to turn him into a fish head mermaid.

so you're saying i need to find every reason to drag odin and dio together again

[14words]

well we wouldn't want that. from what i gather of all this he wouldn't have much hope of a fulfilling love life as a fish head mermaid.
thank you for your help in these matter, my friend. i think we've come to a satisfying answer.

oh, also he seems to be quite stricken by your 'lifetime of possible blowjobs' comment and now agrees with your assessment.
something about just adopting a dog.

ABSOLUTELY

[dioception]

Of course he does. I am a master of debate.

[That was kind of a joke but also he was a lawyer for a reason.]

Any time, my friend.