dioception | IC Inbox/ DIO's Diary

Good evening. Thanks for coming over.

[She gestured for him to follow her over to the couch to sit. It wasn't as bare bones as most new arrivals; minimal still, but with most of the basics, including a couch and chairs they could share.

It all had a very Edwardian flare though. Monty's touch.]

Please, go ahead and sit where you like.

[Ugh. Dio recognizes it immediately, but he's really... not even in a good enough mood to express his distaste for Monty or Monty's tastes. Instead, he just manages to take a seat. God, how he wished he could ask her for some tea or something to drink to calm the nerves and allow him some time to politely sit in silence.]

Thank you... for having me.

[He placed a hand on his forehead, just trying to relax himself a little. He was a little reluctant to admit to what it was.]

Of course.

[She kind of wished he could drink tea. Could he? She wasn't sure. Ugh, so much she didn't know about him. She started to sit down, then straightened back up again.]

Sorry, one second.

[She scampered off to her bedroom, and came back with...a hairbrush.]

That's better.

[Now she'll sit.]

[Dio looked up as she ran off and returned not long after with a hairbrush. Oh man, that'll be nice if she decides to brush his hair. Even if she just hands it to him, that'll at least give him some time to sit quietly.

It was a little awkward though, since he was already sitting quietly without saying anything. Trouble was that he didn't know how to start talking about this.]

Masaki...

[I mean, how was he supposed to talk about a relationship he was in when he was attempting to be in a relationship with her too? Dio wasn't sure if she was the sort to get offended at that.]

I don't think I can reach, unless you lay down, or I stand up. Here.

[She leaned over, and put the hairbrush on his lap.]

Your choice.

[She peered up at his face, watching him. She didn't know what he wanted to say, wanted to do with whatever was upsetting him. So...she offered what little she could. Just like she always did.]

[He looked down at the hairbrush on his lap as it was placed there, then up to her.]

What if I... sit on the floor, and you in a chair?

[Like his mother use to do. ~~Like Jonathan used to do.~~ Dio liked the hair brushing. He could do it himself, but he felt like it being done to him would be soothing.]

Sure. That'd work.

[It was kind of cute, if she thought about it. A grown man, sitting on the floor as his hair was brushed...but too, maybe it would be easier for him to say what he had to say if he wasn't looking at her.

So she got up, took the hairbrush back, and moved to sit in a chair, waiting for him to settle. She hoped this would make him feel better. Seeing his blood shot eyes made her chest ache.]

[Dio followed her to her seat, taking a spot in front of her on the floor, facing away from her. He was a little slumped from being tired and sad, but he was going to attempt to get better for now. He needed to recover, anyway.]

...So.

[He might as well tell her, though he still feels bad for burdening her with relationship problems.]

I think... Jonathan and I are over. [For now, in any case. He wanted to see hope for it yet, but he just didn't right now.]

Oh.

[She had started to reach for him with her hair brush, but stopped. But after a moment, she reached for him, and started to brush his hair.]

I'm sorry.

[She meant it. No wonder he looked like a hot mess.]

After almost eight months... [After longing for him for a century]

He told me he's just not... 'in love' with me.

[He stays still for the hair brushing, trying not to say anything accusatory about Jonathan. After all, Dio still loved him. So much so that thinking about it again brought some tears welling up in his eyes as he gave a little sniffle.]

There's just no room in his heart for me, after he gave it all to his wife.

[Eight months...and still in love with his wife. This was...complicated. Masaki bit down on her lip, still brushing his hair. This poor man. He was grinding his heart into pieces, wasn't he.]

Is that what he said?

[He appreciated that she was still brushing his hair. It made him not lose his cool entirely, Dio instead just letting a single tear roll down his cheek as he sniffled again.]

Yes. He said he... 'can't give his heart to two.'

But I don't understand why. Maybe I'm just... not as good of a person as Jonathan. [Or maybe he just thought that way because he was still a Victorian man at heart, and had Victorian ideas of what Love was supposed to be like.] Because I am in love with him, but... I guess I still love Enrico too, even though he's been gone for over a year.

I don't... think my love for one diminishes my love for the other? [But he didn't know. And maybe Masaki would feel that it did mean Dio was incapable of truly loving someone, because he couldn't give his all to only one person.]

[She had been tempted to turn him around and hug him. But first, he needed to get the words out, she thought.]

You can still love Jonathan, you can still love Enrico. But you can love other people too. Least...that's what I think.

[Her words are very quiet, and she continues brushing. Carefully taming snarls in his hair. Maybe it was a good thing, that their hair was so alike.]

Remember the troll, Karkat? With his different forms of love? I think he might have a point.

[Oh yeah, he definitely remembers him too, and that chat he'd had with him. Whoo. That was... something.]

It's not bad to love multiple people though? I thought you were supposed to be... loyal or something if you love someone?

[Yup, she heard what you did with Joseph at the church Dio. Thanks for the info.]

It's not bad to love more than one person. Like I said, there's all kinds of love. And loyalty can mean a lot of different things, to different people.

That's why you have to talk about it. And talk about it a lot.

[S-sweats. He wasn't going to mention it, because he wasn't sure what to call Joseph. It's certainly not love, but there was something there. Something.]

This is...very confusing.

But I think I understand. I certainly feel like I could fall in love with another person. [Talkin' bout you, Masaki.] And if I did, it wouldn't mean I love Jonathan less... or even that I'd love anyone else less.

Still... it hurts to be told that someone you've loved for over a century just isn't in love with you.

[It's not friendship either. Not exactly. But it's something.]

It's hard. People are...really hard.

[She pauses in her brushing to plant a kiss on the top of his head. It felt like he needed it. And so did she.]

I'm sorry that you hurt. That he hurt you, even if he really didn't want to. But...you know now. And that means you don't have to wonder. That might have been hurting you even more.

[That's a way to look at it too, but it felt so final. Like, "well, now you know he could never be in that sort of a relationship with you". That isn't something he knows he can live with.

Dio sits silently for a moment, chewing on his lower lip and ending up puncturing the skin with a fang.]

Thank you for listening. I'm still not sure what I intend to do with him, but... I don't know. I'm not really willing to give up, yet.

Then don't. He might change is mind.

[She smooths his hair with her fingers briefly, before going back to brushing his hair.]

You know what he feels now, but that's not an absolute. Just take care of yourself. That's how you can thank me.

[That's something he can DO? Change his mind?

He gave a little contented hum at the smoothing of his hair with her hand. He liked it. Simple physical reassurance was quite effective with Dio.

Also, this makes her the second person to tell him to do that recently, the other person being Mikado.]

I'll do that. I really... appreciate this, Masaki. I probably seem like I'm being unreasonable. I hope I didn't put you out too much.

[She hummed under her breath, stroking through her fingers through his hair again. It really was nice. Soft. Maybe she shouldn't be doing this but...if he liked it...]

No, you're fine. I've been pretty hard on you too, sometimes, even unfair. I'm sorry if I've been unreasonable to you too.

[Dio stopped to turn and look up at her from his spot on the ground, seeming rather confused, because he was.]

How have you been hard or unfair to me...? You've been nothing but kind from my perspective.

Well, I have asked you some pretty hard questions.

And....I kinda...shot you. I meant for it to miss though.

[SHE STILL FELT BAD ABOUT IT.]

But that was... [Dio still seemed confused.]

It was an accident, and you were trying to help. Maybe not directly help me, but help nonetheless. It wasn't... I mean. That wasn't your fault. You shouldn't feel bad for it.

Yes, it was an accident, but I still hurt you. Even if I was still trying to help you.

[She wrinkled her nose.]

Maybe I shouldn't feel bad, but I do.

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